Non-monogamy Newcastle
Discussion Group Community Guidelines

Our discussion group focuses on non-monogamy, alternative relationship structuring, and all types of non-normative relationships or identity. We welcome all folks, non-monogamous and monogamous alike, but we ask that everyone respects the focus of the group.

When you attend our group, you agree to abide by our group code of conduct. We aim for this group to be a safe, harassment-free, intersectionality-aware space for discussion and learning.

This means we prioritise the safety of marginalised people over the comfort of the privileged. We ask that everyone attending ensures that they are familiar with these concepts, for the safety and comfort of other attendees.

Non-monogamy Newcastle is only open to those who are 18+. 

 

We respect privacy

Not everyone is out of the non-monogamous closet! We respect the privacy of other members and we don’t share identifiable information outside the group.

We are empathetic

Our discussion group is, above all, a place of learning. We are all learning to be more compassionate, empathetic beings.

We are inclusive

We celebrate the full spectrum of sexual and gender diversity. We don’t tolerate racist, sexist, homophobic, biphobic, transphobic, disablist, ageist, or otherwise exclusionary language, nor do we accept shaming, erasure, and victim-blaming.

We are intersectionality-aware

We are willing to examine our privilege, language and other habits during discussions. We are respectful of folks' experiences of marginalization, and we do not deny their reality because our experiences may differ. We don’t tolerate harmful opinions which damage the rights of others, nor do we debate their merits.

Don't be creepy

This is not a dating group. We will not tolerate overt sexual language in the context of flirting or propositioning. We do not support unsolicited friend adds on social platforms such as Facebook.

Code of conduct

Say hello

We’d love everyone to introduce themselves, and if they like, share their experience or interest in the discussion. Otherwise, a simple hello would be great!

Be kind

If someone isn’t familiar with something, we take the time to explain. It’s always ok to say, “I don’t know” or “I don’t understand.”

Stay on topic

We make sure that all discussions relate to non-monogamy, and the topic at hand.

One speaker at a time

We don’t talk over one another or dominate conversation. We make sure that we allow space for everyone who wants to contribute.

Be aware of difference

We are mindful that not everyone comes from the same background. We may have different cultural and language backgrounds or be neuro atypical. We aim to be mindful and understanding, and we use accessible language.

Participate

Participate in an authentic and active way; even if that just means being an active listener! By doing so we contribute to the health and longevity of this community.

Be considerate

We exercise consideration and respect in our speech and actions. Although we love healthy debates, we aren’t into arguing! We accept and respect difference of opinion.

Say what you need

If we bring something to free discussion, we try clarify the kind of information or input we’re looking for – whether we’d like advice, guidance, or we just want to share.

Avoid exclusionary language

We try to be careful in the words that we choose so that we avoid excluding communities. Sexist, racist, ableist, and other exclusionary jokes or comments will not be tolerated under any circumstance.

We avoid subtle -isms

Much exclusionary behaviour takes the form of subtle -isms, or microaggressions – small things that make others feel unwelcome. For example, saying “It’s so easy my grandmother could do it” is a subtle -ism with tones of both sexism and ageism.

Regardless of intent, these comments can have a significant demeaning impact on participants. If you notice a subtle -ism, please point it out to a facilitator, either publicly or privately.

 

Committing to self-improvement

We aren’t perfect! From time to time, each of us may fail to live up to these standards. However, what matters isn’t having a perfect track record, but owning up to mistakes and committing to a clear and persistent effort to improve.

If we are approached as having (consciously or otherwise) acted in a way that might make participants feel unwelcome, we listen with an open mind and try to avoid becoming defensive. We remember that if someone offers us feedback, it likely took a great deal of courage. We respect that courage by listening, acknowledge our mistake, apologising, and moving on with a renewed commitment to do better.

 

Complaints procedure

Anyone wishing to lodge a complaint against an attendee can do so by messaging the Non-monogamy Newcastle Facebook page, emailing us at nonmonogamynewcastle@outlook.com or by contacting a member of our committee. We will then ask for a written statement, which will be taken to the next monthly committee meeting where it will be discussed, and a decision reached if necessary. You will then receive a response within 2 weeks of the committee meeting.

Any information submitted to Non-monogamy Newcastle will be kept confidential, unless we believe someone inside or outside the group is at risk of harm. In this case, personally identifiable information such as names, locations and dates will be kept private wherever possible.